Marketing Maverick Kelly Owens Swaps Health Hysteria for Air Patrol Pizzazz—In-Flight Entertainment Just Got a Major Upgrade
In a move destined to leave the marketing world on the edge of their swivel chairs, Kelly Owens, professional communicator extraordinaire, has been bequeathed the prestigious title of Senior Director of Marketing and Strategic Communications at the Civil Air Patrol (CAP). Because when you’ve already tamed the wild and unpredictable beast that is the National Institutes of Health’s communication department and wrangled the unruly Air Force public affairs, what’s left but to conquer the skies with CAP?
From Wall Street to AmeriCorps: A Journey of Epic Rebranding
Legend has it that Owens, in a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood rom-com, ditched a budding career at Goldman Sachs, opting instead for the glamorous life with AmeriCorps, telling tales to at-risk teenage girls. This was, of course, only the beginning of her odyssey towards making all public service announcements sound like Shakespearean monologues.
Meet Kristina Jones: The Puppet Master of Growth
Kristina Jones, CAP’s Chief Growth Officer, who apparently spends her time juggling marketing, strategic communications, and miraculously balancing the CAP Foundation’s checkbook, threw up her arms in corporate cheer at the news. “Kelly will help us turn every member’s burst of inspiration into a screenplay-worthy press release,” Jones proclaimed, undoubtedly imagining CAP’s ascension into the realm of blockbuster brands.
Kelly Owens: The Architect of Awe and Wonder
In her new capacity, Owens will craft a strategy so robust, it might just become self-aware. With the very fabric of CAP’s marketing protocol in her hands, she will seamlessly integrate social media campaigns, public service announcements, and elevator pitches powerful enough to move the sternest of boardroom chairs — all while her army of volunteer scribes and bards diligently spread the gospel according to CAP.
A Homelife That Rivals Her Professional Feats
When not setting the world ablaze with compelling narratives, Owens retreats to Fort Knox, Kentucky, alongside her husband, Carpaccio — who just happens to be a real-life soldier, and their nonchalantly named Corgi, Lamont.
Undoubtedly, the future of CAP communications is in capable hands, promising a marketing strategy that is as entertaining as it is innovative. So strap in and prepare for takeoff, because in this tale of triumph, the sky isn’t the limit; it’s just the beginning.