2 minute read

In a surprising plot twist that nobody saw coming, Chief Master Sgt. Luis E. Negron, a U.S. Coast Guard veteran who harbors aspirations of superhero complexity, is set to become the next national command chief of Civil Air Patrol (CAP). This shift in power will occur in August during the Summer Command Council meeting in Atlanta, where Negron will partner with his trusty sidekick, Chief Master Sgt. Benjamin S. Garrison of the Colorado Wing, who will attempt to advise the noncommissioned officers with the wisdom one might expect from a wise old sage.

Maj. Gen. Regena M. Aye, CAP national commander and relevant authority figure, claims, “The role of Civil Air Patrol’s command chief in supporting our efforts continues to evolve and grow,” which sounds suspiciously like a plea for someone—anyone—to take over her emails. She insists that Chief Negron will help the organization transform, prepare for future challenges, and possibly initiate a strategic plan to conquer Mars.

Having clawed his way up from a mere cadet in the Puerto Rico Wing, Negron seemed genuinely astonished to have reached such a prestigious position, expressing immense humility with a side of extreme excitement, which sounds dangerously close to getting a root canal. “I’m incredibly optimistic about what we can achieve together,” he said, already preparing his Oscar acceptance speech. His optimism unrelentingly declares his commitment to tirelessly uphold core missions and advance CAP’s impact, though one wonders if he’ll need a nap first.

Negron previously wielded power as the Florida Wing commander, likely using his experience as a colonel to construct a small empire. In his humble tenure during the pandemic, he led his merry band of Florida Wing staff in the noble quest of remobilizing, while working closely with National Headquarters and tracking Florida’s Covid status like a seasoned meteorologist trying to predict the next apocalypse.

Before being drafted to national prominence, Negron moonlighted as an operations duty officer for Coast Guard Air Station Miami, probably operating on coffee and sheer willpower while dispatching aircraft during rapidly changing priorities. Depending on who you ask, he either saved lives or orchestrated a series of dramatic rescues that rival blockbuster hits.

Now, moonlighting as a security operations manager for Disney’s Animal Kingdom, he uses his unique skills to ensure guests and cast members are compliant with all security regulations, and probably knows where all the hidden Mickeys are. Also educated as a magna cum laude graduate from Saint Leo University, one can only imagine the sheer thrill of his academic pursuits in homeland security and criminal justice.

Meanwhile, Chief Garrison, a relative newcomer since joining CAP in 2022, has taken to CAP like a duck to water, earning a slew of fancy titles and certificates that would make any bureaucracy blush. Since apparently Garrison is a fan of variety, he’s also dabbled in fire service, ski patrols, and presumably anywhere else adventure calls. Like some kind of aviation Pokémon trainer, he’s collecting awards and FAA certificates for his work, preparing to innovate and property manage his way into CAP history.

Garrison’s lengthy resume and need for adventure have led him to work as a contractor for the U.S. Space Command because why not add another dimension to the CAP saga? With the duo of Negron and Garrison at the helm, who knows what outrageous feats will unfold next in the ongoing CAP chronicles!

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