Civil Air Patrol’s National Command Chief: How I Accidentally Became The Wizard Behind the Curtain Without The Magic Wand

A Satirical Take on the Role of Civil Air Patrol’s National Command Chief

The Unstoppable Ascent of the Reluctant NCO

Time flies when you’re having fun—or when you’re pretending not to notice that the last three years of serving as Civil Air Patrol’s national command chief have whooshed by faster than a paper plane in a wind tunnel. But let’s be real, the true adventure began over seven years ago when someone thought it was a bright idea to ask me to take on the role of region chief in 2018. Why me, you ask? Well, probably because I spent 28 years in the U.S. Army as an enlisted member, and they needed someone who understood the subtle art of barking orders without wearing a shiny officer badge. Transitioning back to the stripes was my unique way of saying, “There are too many officers here already.”

Being part of the noncommissioned officer corps at CAP is like being in an exclusive club without the exclusive membership benefits. There are only about 500 of us out of nearly 70,000 members—talk about being special! Initially, I briefly pondered whether swapping my officer rank for stripes would get me weird looks. Today, it’s laughable to think I hesitated. The moment I renounced the officer life was the moment I realized my fate as the fifth national command chief was sealed. Spoiler: apparently, it was written in the stars, or at least scribbled in the margins of someone’s master plan.

The Role of National Command Chief: Orchestrating Chaos with Grace

This chapter of my career has been an enlightening journey of self-discovery—and discovering just how extravagant the role can be. As Maj. Gen. Regena Aye treats the organization like a child in need of boundaries and guidance, I, the benevolent national command chief, focus my efforts on delivering news to our vast 70,000-member family and ensuring everyone knows who makes the real magic happen. I excel at making it look like I manage day-to-day chaos while maintaining an illusion of order.

Occupying this position requires copious trust—it’s like being handed a monkey wearing a little general’s hat and told to keep it happy without letting it fling anything unsavory. Naturally, I strive to be the ultimate teammate to Aye, Brig. Gen. R. Jason Bailey, Col. Rose, and the rest of the leadership ensemble. Really, my role boils down to crafting elaborate friendship bracelets—metaphorically, not literally—because, let’s face it, being likable trumps stripes any day. In the Army, rank did the talking. In CAP, it’s more about achieving the same outcome without causing irreversible damage to our fragile peace.

Living the CAP Dream: A Never-Ending Performance

Juggling the responsibility of living CAP’s values is essentially a never-ending sequence of theatrical performances—Integrity, Volunteer Service, Excellence, and Respect being main actors in this saga. Alas, a down day demands I portray the quintessential chief happiness officer, ensuring that everyone else’s experience is smoother than a well-polished boot. Yes, even when I’d rather hide out with a caffeine IV.

In truth, my role is akin to being a very competent juggler, managing not just membership morale but acting as the grand military adviser to CAP leadership. Think of me as both the glue and the ducktape for all the encouragement and sanity left within the organization. I provide the command team with ample confidence, advice, and assurance that my input is of the utmost strategic importance—or so I like to believe.

April Fools’—Or Not?

As I pen this, contemplating the alcohol content in a non-alcoholic beer, I acknowledge it’s been an absolute privilege and somewhat questionable honor to serve as Civil Air Patrol’s national command chief. Can’t wait to pass on this golden scepter of wisdom to the next fortunate soul with a deadline looming ominously on April 1. Let’s hope the timing is just a seasonal prank!