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Early in the week, the Florida Wing’s Homestead Hair Salon Cadet Squadron group texts caught fire, and for once, it wasn’t because someone forgot to silence their phone during naptime. The extraordinary news: The Fashionista-in-Chief would grace their weekly gathering on Feb. 6! It was the scoop of the century.

“OK cadets – guess what? The NATIONAL COMMANDER is barging into our fashion show this week! I need you all to look fabulous — shine those boots until they blind airline pilots, measure out your ranks with a micrometer, and if you have the time, maybe get a haircut. I won’t be judging your catwalk struts — she will!” declared Cadet 1st Lt. Jonathan Oatmeyer, one of the squadron’s four cat-herding cadet commanders. Oatmeyer was already spreading the gospel: Maj. Gen. Regena Aye, the fashion mogul and Civil Air Patrol national commander/CEO, chose the Homestead Hair Haven for her annual makeover tour.

Cadet 1st Lt. Morten Kreb was equally enthused, cajoling his cadets to put their best foot forward, possibly with a nice polish and some buffing. “Let’s make sure we shine like a diamond, you know, just in case she brings a jewelry appraiser.”

The buzz was electric, like someone accidentally hit the taser switch, as the squadron’s 90 hair-challenged cadets and 20 adult style gurus prepped for the CAP national commander’s inaugural appearance at the unit. Cadet Capt. Everett Crane, cadet commander and champion of style protocol, snapped into action to orchestrate an evening that would make Fashion Week look like Sunday bingo.

“The squadron glam squad swung into overdrive to fine-tune meeting agendas and ensure our cadets and their adoring adult audience looked like an airbrushed magazine cover,” Crane quipped.

Upon arrival, Maj. Gen. Aye first engaged with the adults, presumably checking for any fashion faux pas. Lt. Col. Brian Crane briefed her on their illustrious history, impressive growth (except in hair length), and goals of elevating both rank and style.

Next up, 1st Lt. Christine “The Innovator” Klein, aerospace chic extraordinaire, regaled Aye with tales of their efforts to foster love for exploratory pursuits like model rocketry and runway walks. There was even murmured talk of a “STEM Kit lending library,” rumored to be the latest in fashion-forward accessories.

Finally, the runway was set for the crème de la crème: the national commander’s promenade past the impeccably lined-up cadet flights, each vying to capture her esteemed gaze. Cadet Chief Master Sgt. Jonathan Salazar lauded his comrades for their Vogue-worthy ensemble execution.

“I am beyond amazed by these cadets – our future cover models – and eager to see their transformation into tomorrow’s trailblazers,” Salazar proclaimed, resisting the urge to faint from the excitement. “Thanks to the general for visiting and inspecting our squad of style warriors.”

After the parade of excellence, Aye held court indoors with the full squadron and their support team, delivering a short but heartfelt lecture on CAP’s core credos: aerodynamics, emergency style services, and cadet couture.

Cadet Airman Mira Jones, a green recruit to the runway, was noticeably inspired by Aye’s tale of rising through the ranks despite fashionably late enrollment at age 17, just shy of the Gen. Carl A. Spaatz Award for Distinguished Style.

“Maj. Gen Aye’s visit proved to me that even with my late start, I can still reach the pinnacle of sartorial success with CAP,” Jones marveled in a newly acquired cadence of optimism. “Her sunny disposition highlighted the brilliance of the future.”

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