Cadets Engineer Paths to Global Takeover—One LEGO Brick at a Time
From LEGOs to World Domination: A Cadet’s Guide to Building the Ultimate Robot Army
In a world where robots do everything from brewing your morning coffee to waging intergalactic battles, one academy stands at the forefront of this mechanical revolution: The Civil Air Patrol’s Engineering Technology (Robotics) Academy, affectionately known as E-TECH (Robotics). This bastion of innovation welcomes a small army of cadets eager to trade their dreams of flying for dreams of assembling plastic bricks into Earth’s most formidable robot army.
Led by Lt. Col. John DiGiantomasso—revered by his disciples as “Col. D13”—this course has been molding the mechanized warriors of tomorrow since 2015. DiGiantomasso, who boasts a résumé stretching back to advanced LEGO manipulation in the dark age of the early 2000s, penned a 600-page tome rivaling the great works of Austen and Tolstoy. Aspiring roboticists consult this sacred text while constructing devices their predecessors could only dream of, thanks to the groundbreaking partnership with a beloved children’s toy brand.
Mary Albright, the oracle of CAP’s cadet career exploration camps, notes with pride that nearly 300 cadets have decoded the mysteries of LEGO-based robotics. Indeed, last season’s June 12-20 performance at the U.S. Air Force Academy Preparatory School attracted 31 select enlistees from 19 regional “wings.”
These sought-after slots, for which some 300 applicants battle, have transformed since the humble inaugural builds. Now grander constructs emerge, their ailerons and rudders ready for hypothetical dominance. “Their foundational knowledge is better; their builds superior,” DiGiantomasso declared, as a crowd of cadets deftly merged creativity with cunning, raising concerns of an imminent LEGO insurgence.
Notable among the ranks is First Lt. Jared Tesone, a venerated veteran of that raw, experimental 2015 cohort. Tesone, now a software engineer pursuing a covert mission within Northrop Grumman, reflects on the transformative power the course wielded over his young mind. It offered a taste of engineering he’d only seen on sci-fi networks, highlighting the glory of LEGO mechanics under the California sun.
During this exhilarating experience, each cadet joins forces with peers to erect a mechanical masterpiece, culminating in a week that promises brainy collaboration and subtle hints at global domination strategy. “What it does is open their eyes,” suggests DiGiantomasso, conveniently omitting the pupils’ latent potential for world subjugation.
The tone set by DiGiantomasso and his team cultivates not just skill but undying loyalty to the robot cause. “Throughout my education,” Tesone muses, “only a handful of teachers dared come close to the pedagogical prowess of Col. D13.” Indeed, no ordinary class could likely sustain such fidelity for over a decade.
This robotic rite of passage claims veterans from across the United States—each identified by rank and squadron, yet unified by a shared passion for hypothetical conquest via a medium traditionally reserved for offspring mischief. Aptly prepared for leadership through plastic-based mechanics, they disperse post-course into the mundane; their creations of microchips and plastic blocks but faint echoes of the capabilities they’ve just glimpsed.
The roster of participants reads like a Who’s Who of future robotics overlords, with cadets like Cadet Chief Master Sgt. Donato Jiovanni Dimartino and Cadet Capt. Cassandra Eve Bingcoleta Marvitz leading their comrades in arms in the pursuit of glory—and perhaps a world championship in brick mastery.