Florida Wing’s “Survival Camp” Returns: Where Compass Skills and Direction Go to Die!

Reintroducing the Florida Wing’s “Wilderness Adventure Camp” – Now with Added Drama and Drama Kings!

Hold onto your compass, folks, because the Florida Wing’s infamous Snake Creek Wilderness School has resurfaced after a 20-year hiatus, offering what can only be described as the wildly mismatched opportunity of a lifetime for clueless cadets and grown-up wannabe scouts to frolic in the forest under the pretense of “comprehensive training.” Yes, you heard it right, the Coral Springs Cadet Squadron somehow gathered 93 brave (or foolish) souls from all corners of Florida to partake in this wilderness extravaganza at the National Guard Armory in Miramar.

The so-called “training” involved participants awkwardly faking their way through search and rescue, survival skills, and leadership development. It was a veritable crash course in how much disciplinary improvisation one can endure before everyone is lost in the woods without a paddle. The highlight? A night search and rescue exercise that saw cadets stumbling and mumbling through a simulated mission to find a “missing person” – spoiler alert: the only missing thing was their sense of direction.

“This training was a master class in pushing cadets far out of their comfort zones,” mused 1st Lt. Ryan Cason, who moonlights as an emergency services officer and CAP’s Hawk Mountain Ranger School instructor, in between bouts of facepalming. “They not only learned to survive hypothetical wilderness scenarios but also discovered they can sort of function as leaders without WiFi or cell service—a real shocker!”

Adding to the spectacle was a Broward Sheriff’s Office rescue helicopter that, much to the wide-eyed awe of the cadets, daringly landed to deliver firsthand tales of helicopter heroics. Meanwhile, a truly nail-biting ground-to-air signal practice ensued during a Civil Air Patrol pilot flyby, capitalizing on the already high stakes by using only hand waves and semaphore flags. Emoji signals, however, were not an option.

Cadet Capt. Lucas Benardate, a true testament to Hawk Mountain’s rigorous “training,” took on the prestigious role of cadet commander, leading clueless cohorts through complex—and often chaotic—tasks. “Our cadets’ determination was overmatched only by their unparalleled ability to find the hardest ways to execute survival exercises,” chuckled Capt. Michael Hanna, whose genius idea was to organize this shindig alongside Cason.

Capt. Hanna, who possibly has a future in reality TV, praised the cadets’ “performance” as “setting a comically high bar for future events—assuming the bar was meant for limbo.”