By Smelly Antler | AuxBeacon News Contributor
It has been three years and a day since AuxNewsNow delivered this humiliating donkey-kick to the Civil Air Patrol National Staff. While the ANN author carefully changed the names of those he was poking, the titles for early 2016 give away the targets of opportunity. You’ve posted about AuxNewsNow in the past and were always generous with praise for the genius of its creator. I wonder if you would be willing to remind the membership about these good ol’ days when we were so gently escorting Vazquez and Myrick off the stage.
Civil Air Patrol Announces Yet Another Campaign About History Crap Nobody Cares About
By Smedley Butler – 18Feb16
MONTGOMERY, Ala. — CAP’s History Department proudly unveiled ‘CAP: Just A Couple Weeks Ago’, the forty-second history-related campaign in a year. “We expect this to be even more popular than the ‘When I Was A Cadet’ and ‘CAP Back In The Day’ campaigns,” said [redacted CAP’s] National Historian.
“I’m trying to get the organization to dedicate all remaining discretionary monies and commit the majority of our non-SAR volunteer hours into the new anniversary bonanza. We also have Vanguard onboard to mint expensive coins and other worthless merchandise nobody will want or buy.”
Even though any positive results from the campaign are expected to be effectively zero, the effort will require massive amounts of volunteer hours. “That’s not a problem, though,” said CAP’s Executive Director [redacted]. “It won’t cost the organization a cent. That’s what ‘volunteer’ means. Their hours are expendable and, frankly, almost valueless.”
“As National Historian, my mission is to celebrate our rich and heroic history of historic heroism,” said [Lt Col Redacted]. “It’s part of the organization’s proven track record of doing more for anniversary campaigns than we do for anything else. Things like coins, campaign graphics, celebrations, publicity kits, and press releases that don’t contribute to baseline brand awareness, fundraising, recruiting or anything else.”