by Aggregator | AuxBeacon News

[Editor’s Note: AuxNewsNow is a now defunct website that turned real news events in Civil Air Patrol into parody pieces. Those well connected in the Civil Air Patrol program would get the humor, while outsiders were often left scratching their heads as to the references. The site ran from mid 2015 to early 2017 and shutdown soon after Mark Smith was tapped to be CAP’s National Commander.]

AuxNewsNow has released their first parody piece making fun of Civil Air Patrol pilots as over gross weight. The title of the parody piece is:

New Cessna Aircraft for CAP to Feature Expanded CG Envelope, Gross Weight Limits
By Smiling Jack – 24Jul15

OSHKOSH, Wis., July 24, 2015 — Cessna Aircraft Company, a subsidiary of Textron Aviation Inc., a Textron Inc. (NYSE:TXT) company, today announced at the EAA AirVenture that it has been granted an Amended Type Certificate from the FAA for its Cessna 172 Skyhawk, 182 Skylane and 206 Stationair airplanes to meet an urgent request from the U.S. Civil Air Patrol (CAP).

“Civil Air Patrol officials came to us last year with a serious operational problem,” said Tim Delahanty, director of aircraft certification for Cessna. “Over the years, the weight of our aircraft has not changed much. The weight of added safety equipment has been offset by changes to the aircraft systems, such as the use of lighter weight solid state avionics and flat-panel displays. However, the average weight of the individual CAP senior member has increased dramatically in that same time.”

The original piece continued with the slam, and AuxBeacon readers are encouraged to pursue that elsewhere.